I’m Casey. I am a counselling psychology student, support worker, and relationship coach and writer. I live and work on the unceded territory of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and Sel̓íl̓witulh (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations.
I spent most of my 20s coming out of my shell, finding my way home to myself, and healing with the support of counselling, mindfulness practices, and psychedelics. I am incredibly privileged for the opportunities I have had to explore my own healing. I want to acknowledge my privilege in my story. It is my privilege that gives me the time, capacity, and energy to do the work I do today, including writing.
I spent more than a decade in a cycle of painful and destructive relationships. I allowed my relationships to take from me, define me, and leave me emotionally depleted. I spun my tires for years, desperately trying to find partnership with another person because I feared without someone else, I was incomplete.
I learned that I had an anxious attachment style and everything began to make a lot more sense to me. Realizing I had an attachment wound meant that there was something that I could heal. It was also comforting to know that there was not something wrong with me, but that I —like many folks — had a childhood that made loving as an adult difficult. It also marked the beginning of my informal study of love and relationships, a study which I hope will be lifelong.
I am not a relationship expert. I do try to take what I read from those who have dedicated their lives to studying relationships and share it with you here. I will weave in my personal experiences but am a strong believer that our intuition knows what is best for us. You are the only person who knows what is best for you so I invite you to take what you read here that serves you, and leave the rest.
I created Exploring the Relational to document my endless exploration of what it means to love and be in relationship. Love — this part of life that is supposed to be beautiful, fulfilling, and easy — has proven to be one of the most challenging and confusing aspects of being human for me.
What is love? Why is it so hard for some of us? How do I find, create, and nurture love in my own life?
These are the questions that have guided me. I turn to psychology, philosophy, fiction, poetry, and my own experiences, in the hopes to figure it out. The search is proving endless and my curiousity insatiable. I created this blog so that you could join me in this exploration. I want to share what I find on my journey, and support others in finding it for themselves.
We all deserve love. We are all worthy of love. It is not our fault that we have no idea how to create the kind of love we have always craved. Love is hard. Love is an art, it is work, and it is wholly imperfect.
I have often turned to google to help me figure out what the hell I am doing when it comes to love and relationships. This is me giving back and hoping that I can create information sourced from people who have made love their life’s work. I wanted to create a space dedicated to love and the pursuit of it so, here it is.,